the secret teacher.
We are human.
Our hearts our vast and soft and vulnerable.
We feel, we sense, we taste, we hear, we love.
Life sometimes touches us gently, and most of the time it is raw and deep and intense. Often times, it hurts. Just reading the news makes we want to cry. I am sure this happens to you too, because you are my people, and you are paying attention, and you care.
Being human means that we have bodies, and we have personalities, and we have egos that hold the wisdom of where I begin and you end.
The ego is like your night in shining armor that sweeps in fast to protect your heart from any harm. It has good intentions. It loves you more than anything. It can also go way over board.
The ego can protect us so fiercely that we lose the true experience of our lives. It can sweep in so fast that we we lose our connection to our hearts and our breath. Our egos will try to protect us by distracting us from our pain. This is the place where addictions begin.
Addictions are bad habits that begin as a distraction from pain and discomfort (physical, emotional, mental, and psychic
pain). These are ways that the great wisdom of your ego tries to protect you from the soft and vulnerable vastness of your heart. We fall back on habits and addictions when life is just so much, and we forget to breathe. And then, we grasp for the first easy thing that will distract us from our tender heart and shallow breath.
What are your bad habits that you know don't help you in any real way? What are the addictions? Alcohol, negative thought patterns, food, shopping, Facebook, TV?
Don't worry, your just human. Love yourself here.
And, here's a chance for something wonderful to happen.
Next time you find yourself about to reach for that donut, drink, phone, credit card, etc.
Feel your tender crying heart.
Love yourself now.
Watch what happens. Maybe you will cry, or wiggle around, or yell, or pray, or call your best friend, or apologize to your ex, or forgive your mom.
This tenderness will take you somewhere real and raw and gorgeous.
Let this be your practice. Let this be your gift. Let this be your wise and true teacher.